Beverly: Hi. It only makes life worse, not better. Sister in law! Duckman is cast in a hospital educational film with Joe Walsh; for his part he is put into a MRI chamber. I made the honor roll. Duckman and Bernice pose as a couple and go after them. Duckman: You were the one who made up this whole new world! I used to know it Eric Duckman: Did you talk to my lawyer/urologist, Donald "The Shiv" Grillo? Charles: [Jumping up and down excitedly] Oh that would be great. Honey Chicken | Duckman Wiki | Fandom Cornfed Pig: The password is 'Bad Writing.'. I always believed in you. Nope! Eric Duckman: Your idea of a medieval classic is Piscopo doing Sinatra! I'm riffing. Cornfed: From the moment she opened her mouth I wanted to sublet her tongue, move into her larynx, and re-do the upper incisors in mauve. Ow! [shows a picture of little square]. Bob Hiney: Any particular reason you got a picture of a drag queen on a Shetland pony licking a flaming banjo on your chest? That's why were here. Stay out of this, porky. (slurping) Mmm. What the hell are you staring at? Or is the world simply a mystery too complex to understand? You invaded my home. Duckman: [chuckling] Yes, well once again I've outwitted a pitifully inadequate opponent by staying one step ahead of 'em. * Is that correct? She is also from Japan. Happy? Get back! I used to have a recurring dream. Or the Reagan Administration. Sent the pink Cadillac to Lube Masters for a tune-up? A group of Hare Krishnas always came in at 4 AM and bought sixteen gallons of Mr. Slushie, and a package of banana flavored Ding Dongs. Good, bad. Is thousands of vovles everywhere! Duckman: Private Dick/Family Man Edit Duckman: Comedy should provoke! I thought you morphed into a futuristic, flesh-craving metal man! Ajax: No. Come on, sweet cheeks. Impossible. Duckman: Can you believe it? Duckman takes the family and the staff on a holiday to a real Indian reservation, with a casino. Where's the crapper? You must be my 3:00. Duckman: This is where it happened Cornfed. Duckman receives the adrenal gland of a daredevil via a transplant at an amusement park clinic. [taking Gecko out of a bag] Okay Geko it's time to earn your Christmas bowl of water. Hey, kids, come to help your old man. Beverly: [thinking] Thank God Beatrice isn't alive to see this. Shut up, both of you! Duckman and the gang travel to San Francisco to attend Dickcon 97. It's all my pathetic brother-in-law could afford. Iisa! When Bernice won't change her position, they are put to work picking tobacco. Don't let a comedian, a network, a congressional committee, or an evil genius take away your freedom to laugh at whatever you want. Duckman: That's enough with the Dwahs. Rescue seems hopeless, until Agnes Delrooney, reveals that she has been hiding out as Grandma-ma all this time. ", Cornfed: It's from "The Big Book of Psychotic Nonsense. Eric Duckman: Bernice, I am sick and tired of you treating me like some dim-bulb melonhead who's always on the verge of his next screw-up! Hey guys, you ever see anyone without ears before? So does anybody really wonder why anybody is hanging onto sanity by the atoms on the tips of their fingernails, while life dirty dances on their digits, and is it really any wonder THAT I SEEM DERANGED? Must always look all over for volves. Duckman gets him signed to a contract for a job creating greeting cards, but Ajax isn't happy with his new occupation. I'm not licked! Duckman: Because he's rotting in a Turkish jail. Who knows? Why, it was out of consideration for you that he concealed his rampant homosexuality. King Chicken: Duckman do you remember when you had a toothache? Feeling inadequate and hard up, Duckman gets a bill job. She's a Muppet. Eric Duckman: No, I'm against drugs, Corny. When you weren't looking for it, when you didn't care, they swarmed all over you. Whoever stole the Sharon Stone is still here. Lady Calowina Worthington-Ford: [as Cornfed, in disguise, reaches into her purse] Whatever are you doing in my pruse? Joe Walsh: Oh, that must've been the guy who was yelling "you're on my lawn, you're on my lawn." What the hell are you staring at? The series ran from March 5, 1994, to September 6, 1997, for 70 episodes. I know over two hundred ways to kill a man. Duckman: Yes, well warn us next time you're planning on thinking. One of these methods involves an attempt to find a kidnapped Cornfed. The film crew is thrown out of the lab and Duckman forgotten. This is our new Aunt Beverly in our old Aunt Bernice's clothes pretending to be our dead mom Beatrice. Hilarity ensues as Duckman and Bernice are incompatible in every [in] conceivable way. You gotta be kidding. Any questions? Uh, hi, guys. Duckman starts a revolution with his ranting and gets placed into power where he becomes as corrupt as the last rulling paty. What the hell are you staring at? I was gonna say "hook that piece of sweetmeat," but have it your way. Then, the Swedish bikini team jumped out of a magazine and read Moby Dick to me inside a giant carton of cottage cheese. The son Cornfed never knew he had arrives at the office and Cornfed travels back to Vietnam to find the mother and the truth. Duckman and Cornfed must rescue Ajax from a Sultan, his Fakir and a beautiful princess. I just didn't believe in me. So take it or leave it. Ajax: Well, I saw a movie where, during a drill, terrorists took over a city. Smoke! A dream of his comes true! Here is a videotape taken by me this morning at the moment of my epiphany. Forward my magazines to that PO Box in Rio. And some of you may remember me for the subtle beauty of my supple calves." "Cherry's more into that than I am," Atticus nudged his friend's arm to the pig. Don't worry Cornfed. (fanfare plays) Hello, and welcome to the fascinating world of supercomputers. I'm talking to traif! How about a society where everyone has to hop, huh? Cornfed Pig: I know over two hundred ways to kill a man. Uh-uh. BERNICE: Excellent work, pumpkin. A thousand times, DWAAH. He ""hires"" nine super-models to take their place and they are an instant success. Bernice: There's something fishy going on around here. Cornfed Pig: You can't keep us here, you know. Happy? I need a tall glass of water. Dr. Susan Fox: How does that make you feel, Duckman? Last one in is a rotten egg-- and speaking of eggs here's Pepe on his way to market with his father's chickens. After Duckman's father died when he was a child, she was rarely around, preferring to spend her time attending fancy parties and hooking up with various men. You were the one who made up this whole new world. Beverly: Excuse me I have to finish unpacking. Five hundred bucks for a parking ticket? Eventually, Duckman gets a case; the mission is to find the mayor. Duckman: I hope this doesn't sound grandiose, but tonight I begin my pre-ordained ascent towards the global adulation I so richly deserve. All information on this episode should be kept to the episodes article. Wait. Eric Duckman: All right, Chicken! Yes, science is serious business but there's still time for fun. Bruvenheim. Do you think you can help me? [Duckman, Bernice, Charles and Mambo stare at him]. Roxanne: I do not like all of this fighting between Dutch Elm Street and North Flem Ave. We at the wiki ask that you do not spoil the series finale in the articles. Cornfed: Uh, Joe. Cornfed Pig: Sometimes during an electrical storm, I can see in five dimensions. She's ordered that all prisoners be released. Duckman, you're despicable! Klasky Csupo animated the series and produced it along with Reno & Osborn Productions for Paramount Network Television. Hate? Cornfed Pig: Du, Du, Duckman I can explain. Duckman: Good. Duckman: I can't believe they towed my car! I swear I didn't do anything. He spots a more than adequate replacement in recording artist Coolio, who's returned to school to replace his high school diploma. And did he make a dime off it? We told you, Dad. Hey! He quickly begins running through the studio's money, signs a secretary to a 340 million dollar deal to star in a movie in her underpants. However, Duckman quickly puts them to work and gets himself banished from the campground. Hope I don't have to pay for breakage. Duckman and group win a trip to a third-world country. Loretta realized that the average man wastes thinking about sex. It should blast through prejudices, challenge preconceptions! We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Art 'Bones' McSalvo: Damn it, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a rodeo clown! Duckman and Bernice go to meet the parent's of Ajax's girlfriend. Eric Duckman: I know you all came here to see Iggy Catalpa, because you think he's funny, because you like his style, because you just plain like him, right? you're gonna love her until the day you die. - YouTube People get angry, they make mistakes; they fail. Are you crazy? Charles: Yes. Duckman Season 3 Episode 12once and future duck part3Part3: http://br.youtube.com/watch?v=gv0HVsN8gEcPart2: http://br.youtube.com/watch?v=yGBWTBrmaRAPart1: h. You ought to be accepted for your minds but you throw a hissy fit royal? Bernice decides they're going to act together as a family. Duckman: She's a bigger ripoff than those talk-to-a-nympho-in-prison hotlines that double charge you on your phone bill when they know you can't do a thing about it 'cause you can't tell anyone you called them in the first place so I heard. Mmm. Take care and mattane . On part of their drive involves crossing ""Hell's Toilet,"" where ""the days are so hot they can boil your brain and the nights are colder than David Caruso's film career."" Mambo: [heading out the door] Bye dad. Duckman: If words were cherry stems, my tongue would be in Sherilyn Fenn's mouth. He asks for her hand in marriage on a ""Surprise Proposals"" episode of Leeza and things go awry when the flashbulbs go off. Society is restored! One day you'll know how it feels. Dixie Cups Rock. His name is Duckman. What the hell were you thinking?! Cornfed Pig: I haven't felt tension like that since I got stuck in an elevator with Pat Buchanan and RuPaul. You tell them an ice-breaker or two about prostitutes, gays, environmentalists, several minorities, the homeless, couple of religions, anorexics, obese people, the handicapped, old farts, baldness, and people who walk real goofy because they've just had a vasectomy, and suddenly, they get all sensitive, like I offended one of them or something! When does the English translation come out? Eric Duckman: Ha Ha Ha. In search of solitude Duckman moves in with Fluffy and Uranus; even they reach their breaking point with him. Well the only disease I've got is modern life, a shnug-busting gauntlet of inefficiency and misery that's one long parade of letdowns, putdown, trickledowns, shutouts, freezeouts, sellouts, numbnuts, nickenputz and nimrods! He likes the strict regimentation of the institution (compared to the anarchy and choas of outside the institution) so much that he decides to have himself permanently commited. Dancing Queen! Stop! Mambo: I'm tempted to die to I can get a head start on spinning in my grave. Homina-homina. Duckman (Western Animation) - TV Tropes Eric Duckman: OK, son, now you're starting to scare the viewers. Bernice: And after she married Duckman she died. Former comedian Iggy Catalpa hires Duckman to investigate a conspiracy where the only evidence is a sock missing from his laundry. Unhappy? tBlog - Duckster In The House? I'm Katrine. "Duckman: Private Dick/Family Man Quotes." The irony being that maybe the most perfect parent is actually an imperfect parent. Duckman: We don't need no Dutch Elm/North Phleghm scum. So droll. You've got kidney stones older than her. AT THE DROP OF A HAT, YOU WILL FIND WOLF IN HAT! That's me! Really? If she didn't suddenly get a headache woo hoo. Cornfed Pig: Fired for being chronically tardy? They happen all the time. Out and get him. A parody of the Hope/Crosby Road pictures is done in this episode as Duckman and Cornfed act as chaperones for Ajax's class trip to the Sudan. Only that suspect also receives a package. Eric Duckman: I sure do! He becomes dejected when she rejects him and tries to commit suicide. Duckman: I will rise from the ashes like a Knightsbridge. (giggling) You kidder. If we blow our cover, the crooks might come after us. Sit tight! A group of comedians hire Duckman to stop a pathetic mild mannered politically correct chicken whose ""clean"" stand up routine becomes a comedy sensation. Tell it to me in detail. Cornfed Pig: Say, are you a man or a mouse? You make plans with your children then lie to them about some so-called "case," denying them a one-time-only educational and historical experience just so you can spend an afternoon degrading women by treating them as worthless sex objects for your abject and debauched pleasure. The conspirators capture Duckman and brainwash him into killing the only one who can stop them, Cornfed. But I could use a new stereo. Eric Duckman: Did I ever tell you my father's last words to me? I'm getting sick of all the social commentary. Duckman: Last one in the car mops up the vomit. You know, I'd take you if I could but this, uh case just came up. I just spent the night with the sexiest, most insatiable, voluptuous, adventurous, least-inhibited woman I've ever met. Duckman: I'm just one more duck detective, that works with a pig, lives with the twin sister of his dead wife, three sons on two bodies, and a mother-in-law with so much gas, she's a fire hazard. Pop tops never break off. Make him see the moon up above. I'm Loretta. edited 1+ month ago. The students, professors, all animatrons. Ajax is kidnapped. Not like I don't love you or anything, but you know how people are. Eric Duckman: Bunch of thin-skinned, no-humor pansies! Just how much of his Uncle can he take? I can help you think of new societies. Eric Duckman: Remember kids, when you get to prison attach yourself to the biggest, toughest, meanest looking goon you can find. I I just wanted better deodorant. Go ahead. They're all overrated. Thin-skinned, no-humored pansies! To avoid the curse that befell his cousin, Duckman tries to wait on him hand and foot. HAVE IT YOUR WAY! I'm sick of looking at you. ALL: Oh, cool. Hmm. Duckman: No that's okay. Duckman: Okay so I provide food for my family. Hannah Does Her Sisters! Kind of an upswept bob, sort of. I think I'll have orange. Duckman backs his car into a cute girl in front the house. Tyler Rich - Leave Her Wild Lyrics - LHit. Cornfed: You and what United States Peacekeeping force? They'll attack me, string me up. Then he conceives a plan to get his self-respect and identity back. You always threw out my-my, uh Most explicit and enticing *** paraphernalia? Venom: I call this meeting of the Block Neighborhood Association to order. When the world's perfect, there's nothing to be mad at anymore. Prove what?
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